Yes, Your Sex Toys Deserve Spring Cleaning

My simple 5-step process on what to keep and what to toss

It’s been a while since I put on my sex educator hat but this topic has been on my mind this month. If you enjoy this article and want more like it, please let me know!

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I had to share this photo with a toy that coordinates with the cover of Happy Endings, my rom com featuring a sex toy sales consultant.

I don’t mind clutter. Until I do.

There’s an invisible threshold in my head when all the things become too much for my mental load. Which means I go into a binge clean and wear myself out.

When it comes to my personal collection of adult toys, I don’t have this issue. It’s not because how the amount I own. As a sex educator it comes with the territory (pun not intended). No, I’ve never counted how many.

It’s because my pleasure pantry is usually packed away in my closet or nightstand. Out of sight of mind.

However, my partner and I aim to do a cleaning at least twice a year when the mood strikes me. Here’s our process.

Step 1: Prepare your supplies

Before you begin, set aside about thirty minutes or so. It’s never taken more than an hour to go through the process.

• Find a large flat surface where you can spread everything out. Your bed or floor works well.

• Strong, black garbage bags are a must so nosy neighbors can’t see what you’ve disposed of. And won’t rip on when the sanitation person tosses the bag into the dumpster.

• Non-alcohol and non-bleach based cleaning wipes. You can use baby wipes or make-up remover wipes. Alcohol and bleach can damage some common materials in toys.

• Bags for storage: this is a personal preference. You can use plastic zip-top bags or satin fabric bags.

Step 2: Toss expired lubes and lotions

A recent conversation with friends and clients revealed that we own anywhere from 2-5 bottles of lube. That doesn’t even include lotions, oils, and edible massage lotions. Like your favorite face cleanser or body product, they can easily multiply.

What to look for when cleaning lubes and lotions:

• Clean any leaking bottles. Use the wipes. For extra sticky or oily items, run under the faucet with soap and water.

• If the lube or oil has changed color or texture, toss them.

• Smell test: Oils in scented items can also go rancid, so give them a sniff. If it doesn’t smell right, toss.

Check product expiration dates.

How can I tell if my lubricant is expired?

Look for an expiration or best by date on the bottle (see photo above). Most lubricants can last up to 5-7 years, but opening it can speed up its expiration date. If there is no expiration date, test the lube on your hand or a paper towel. If it smells different/weird, changes opacity, or feels overly tacky, toss it. Better to play it safe than sorry.

Note: some items can go bad even if the best by or expiration date hasn’t passed yet.

Step 3: Perform a check-up on your vibrators and toys

As much as you may love your vibrator, they all have a lifespan. Here’s what to look for when cleaning your sex toys.

• Perform a visual check: Has the material changed in any way? Toss anything with cracks, tears, or bubbles on the surface. These small openings make it easy for bacteria to hide. If you have hard plastic or glass toys, check for cracks and chips. Remove these toys from your collection.

• Touch the toys: Is the toy warped or the material tacky? If so, it may be because the material is degrading. Toss these.

• Battery test all your toys: Yes, all of them. Make sure they’re in working order. Batteries should be removed before storing your toys, but it can be easy to forget after your orgasmic high. For those with removable batteries, check for battery leaks. Plug in your rechargeable toys to ensure they still hold a charge and operate properly.

Pro-tip: Discard your toys in an opaque, extra strength trash bag. Think of the horror if the bag rips as your trash pick-up person tosses it in the bin!

Photo by Gwen Mamanoleas on Unsplash

Step 4: Cleaning Your Sex Toys

Now that you’ve made sure all your toys are in working order, give them a good cleaning. For best results, use products designed to clean sex toys. You use your vibrators and C-rings in the most intimate places, so use a cleanser that won’t upset your natural pH balance.

For on-the-spot cleaning, I use baby wipes or sex toy cleaning wipes. Make sure your wipes don’t include scents, lotions, or alcohol.

If want a deeper clean (anal toys, for example), opt for a spray on sex toy cleaner. Remember not submerge toys that aren’t water-resistant or waterproof. You don’t want to damage the motors in your favorite toy.

Glass, silicone, and stainless steel toys can also be cleaned with warm water and a mild soap. Glass, silicone, and stainless steel toys without motors can also be cleaned on the top rack of your dishwasher. Though you might want to give your housemates a heads-up so they won’t be surprised when they reach in for a clean mug.

Step 5: Storing Your Sex Toys

Congrats! You’ve cleaned and purged your pleasure pantry. Now what?

Time to put things way neatly so you can quickly grab your toys when the mood hits. Storage is very personal and depends on space and how you use your toys. Plus they keep dust away. No one wants a dust bunnies on their genitals. (If that’s your thing, go for it. I don’t kink shame.)

• Place each sex toy in its own bag. I prefer clear ziptop bags for everything except glass toys. Those go into padded satin/velvet bags that the manufacturer included with them. Some toy materials like jelly plastics (the soft squishy, usually translucent) can meld into other toys with similar materials.

• For extra credit: label the bag with toy name, manufacturer and date purchased. This can be helpful if your fave toy dies or you lose the charging cord. You can contact the manufacture about warranties or buy a replacement.

• Store lubes, oils, lotions, etc upright in plastic zip-top bags. I prefer this method just in case something leaks. It’ll make clean up easier. I usually store 3-4 in each bag. Keep them upright if possible.

• Label charging cords. Every manufacturer has their own proprietary charging cords. It’s worse than Apple vs Android cables! Make a self-stick flag around the cord with masking tape and label it with a permanent marker. I like to store the cords in the same bag as the toy.

• Keep everything in a cool, dry spot. Major temperature fluctuations can affect lubes and lotions. Toys that have been accidentally left in the trunk of a hot car can easily become abstract art. (Yes, I’ve learned this firsthand.)

Pro-tip: Keep wipes in your nightstand next to your toys so you can give them a quick clean after use.

Don’t forget to double knot that black trash bag before putting it on the curb!

There you go. A simple primer on spring cleaning your sex toys. Who knows, maybe you’ll rediscover an old stand-by that can still blow your mind.

Is there anything I missed? Let me know!

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